WHEN you're 20 years old, without a boyfriend or even a suitor, you are considered a freak in this world.
Yep, no matter how hard you explain it, you are the odd one out. Attending parties alone. Commuting alone. Spending Valentine's Day watching "Sleepless in Seattle" for the nth time. In family reunions you are always asked that one question: "Do you have a boyfriend?" That's because a lot of people think that a man is the be-all and end-all of a woman's existence.
So over a perfectly good slice of chocolate cake, I considered the question: "Why do I choose to be without a boyfriend?" I do not completely understand men. It is not possible and I don't attempt to. But this is what I know.
1st: I don't have to worry about gaining a few pounds. That's why I can enjoy a perfectly good slice of chocolate cake without guilt. I don't have to worry about trying to fit into a tube top for our (my hypothetical boyfriend and I) Saturday night date. I don't have to count the calories in a box of Oreo just to keep my boyfriend's eyes from wandering. I can indulge myself with a whole order of chicken cutlets from the Aveneto without worrying about my abs. You see, men are very visual creatures. It bothers them to see their woman even with a little fat. No such thing as unconditional love unless you go to the gym first.
2nd: I'll be known just as me and not as someone's partner. "And hypothetical boyfriend" does not become my new last name.
3rd: If all I needed was just someone to bring me home from school, there's always carpool, my dad and commuting. If what I needed was someone to carry my things for me, four males in my barkada can do it. True I can't expect much from them on Valentine's. But come on, it's just one day in a year. To quote Bridget Jones: "Valentine's Day is purely commercial, cynical enterprise, anyway. Matter of supreme indifference to me."
4th: Cliche and a truth: I had the privilege of knowing myself better. I have heard this a lot of times and it's true. People make the mistake of jumping into a relationship without knowing who they really are. You have to take time to learn even the simplest things about yourself. We're individuals. We're not extensions of another personality. You don't have to pretend you like R&B music because your boyfriend does. Or eat blueberry cheesecake even if you think it tastes like perfume.
5th: I heard this from the creator of the TV series "Sex & the City": Often, women look for that someone to complete themselves. But that just doesn't work because you alone should complete yourself. Before I chose to remain unattached, I had the illusion that there was 50 percent of me somewhere in the world. I would walk around expecting the next man to be that 50 percent. That's why it was so easy to believe that you were in love although you were really in love with the idea of being in love. Blame Jerry Maguire and his "You complete me" line.
6th: I can be friends with all the guys I want without anyone hounding or interrogating me. A friend told me what a great feeling it was to go to a party and mingle with all sorts of people. It's much better than sitting in the farthest corner of the bar with your boyfriend, watching everybody else having a good time. Being single gives you more freedom.
7th: With just too many assholes and perverts out there, this is probably a major reason I choose to be single. Every single encounter with an asshole reaffirms my commitment to remain unattached. A friend told me that assholes act the way they do because they think they're God's gift to women. I think assholes are the way they are because they can't accept the fact that women can be better than them. Believe me, I've met all kinds: jerks, commitment phobic, chauvinists, players, liars, peeping toms, egotists, maniacs, etc.
8th: I don't have to listen to mushy songs, do mushy things, write mushy letters and say mushy words. I used to listen to Sunday Slowdown regularly, which fed my illusion of undying, unrequited and true love. Now I only listen to a lot of guitar, bass and screaming. It feels much better.
9th: My life is complicated enough. I don't need someone to complicate it further. It breaks my heart to see my friends distressed over a guy. "He didn't call." "He didn't show up." "I saw him with another girl." "He spends more time with his friends than me." "He cancelled." "I think he's breaking up with me." "He thinks I should give him space." "But he just wants to be friends." "He wants us to get back together." "He's a bad driver." I have heard these and more. Thank God all I have to worry about is getting home by 8 p.m. on Tuesdays to catch "Ally McBeal."
10th: Cynthia Alexander, in her song "Walk Down the Road," could not have said it better: "I'm glad to be on my own. I have never been this free? I've never been so alive, so much in love with life."
So I'm fine just the way I am, thank you very much. I'm fine being alone, fine without a man. People tell me I'm just saying that because I haven't met my man yet. Well, I'm not holding my breath waiting because I like me just as I am. Being single isn't about not having a man. It's about having fun, knowing yourself and having a perfectly good slice of chocolate cake.
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Yep, no matter how hard you explain it, you are the odd one out. Attending parties alone. Commuting alone. Spending Valentine's Day watching "Sleepless in Seattle" for the nth time. In family reunions you are always asked that one question: "Do you have a boyfriend?" That's because a lot of people think that a man is the be-all and end-all of a woman's existence.
So over a perfectly good slice of chocolate cake, I considered the question: "Why do I choose to be without a boyfriend?" I do not completely understand men. It is not possible and I don't attempt to. But this is what I know.
1st: I don't have to worry about gaining a few pounds. That's why I can enjoy a perfectly good slice of chocolate cake without guilt. I don't have to worry about trying to fit into a tube top for our (my hypothetical boyfriend and I) Saturday night date. I don't have to count the calories in a box of Oreo just to keep my boyfriend's eyes from wandering. I can indulge myself with a whole order of chicken cutlets from the Aveneto without worrying about my abs. You see, men are very visual creatures. It bothers them to see their woman even with a little fat. No such thing as unconditional love unless you go to the gym first.
2nd: I'll be known just as me and not as someone's partner. "And hypothetical boyfriend" does not become my new last name.
3rd: If all I needed was just someone to bring me home from school, there's always carpool, my dad and commuting. If what I needed was someone to carry my things for me, four males in my barkada can do it. True I can't expect much from them on Valentine's. But come on, it's just one day in a year. To quote Bridget Jones: "Valentine's Day is purely commercial, cynical enterprise, anyway. Matter of supreme indifference to me."
4th: Cliche and a truth: I had the privilege of knowing myself better. I have heard this a lot of times and it's true. People make the mistake of jumping into a relationship without knowing who they really are. You have to take time to learn even the simplest things about yourself. We're individuals. We're not extensions of another personality. You don't have to pretend you like R&B music because your boyfriend does. Or eat blueberry cheesecake even if you think it tastes like perfume.
5th: I heard this from the creator of the TV series "Sex & the City": Often, women look for that someone to complete themselves. But that just doesn't work because you alone should complete yourself. Before I chose to remain unattached, I had the illusion that there was 50 percent of me somewhere in the world. I would walk around expecting the next man to be that 50 percent. That's why it was so easy to believe that you were in love although you were really in love with the idea of being in love. Blame Jerry Maguire and his "You complete me" line.
6th: I can be friends with all the guys I want without anyone hounding or interrogating me. A friend told me what a great feeling it was to go to a party and mingle with all sorts of people. It's much better than sitting in the farthest corner of the bar with your boyfriend, watching everybody else having a good time. Being single gives you more freedom.
7th: With just too many assholes and perverts out there, this is probably a major reason I choose to be single. Every single encounter with an asshole reaffirms my commitment to remain unattached. A friend told me that assholes act the way they do because they think they're God's gift to women. I think assholes are the way they are because they can't accept the fact that women can be better than them. Believe me, I've met all kinds: jerks, commitment phobic, chauvinists, players, liars, peeping toms, egotists, maniacs, etc.
8th: I don't have to listen to mushy songs, do mushy things, write mushy letters and say mushy words. I used to listen to Sunday Slowdown regularly, which fed my illusion of undying, unrequited and true love. Now I only listen to a lot of guitar, bass and screaming. It feels much better.
9th: My life is complicated enough. I don't need someone to complicate it further. It breaks my heart to see my friends distressed over a guy. "He didn't call." "He didn't show up." "I saw him with another girl." "He spends more time with his friends than me." "He cancelled." "I think he's breaking up with me." "He thinks I should give him space." "But he just wants to be friends." "He wants us to get back together." "He's a bad driver." I have heard these and more. Thank God all I have to worry about is getting home by 8 p.m. on Tuesdays to catch "Ally McBeal."
10th: Cynthia Alexander, in her song "Walk Down the Road," could not have said it better: "I'm glad to be on my own. I have never been this free? I've never been so alive, so much in love with life."
So I'm fine just the way I am, thank you very much. I'm fine being alone, fine without a man. People tell me I'm just saying that because I haven't met my man yet. Well, I'm not holding my breath waiting because I like me just as I am. Being single isn't about not having a man. It's about having fun, knowing yourself and having a perfectly good slice of chocolate cake.
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i don't know who the author was....got this one from email.
